Dr. Wexler provides insight and perspective on relationship issues in his new blog for Psychology Today.
Why You Should Keep "But" Out of Your Apology
Posted May 14, 2026
Key points
Apologies are for what you have done, so don't try to sneak in complaints about the other person.
It's not only about you. Communicating empathy for damage done to the other person is crucial.
Don't expect anything in return. It's not their job to forgive until they are good and ready, if at all.
Is Your Therapist a Narcissist?
Posted February 8, 2026
Key points
Your therapist gets a lot out of the work with you—but that's a fringe benefit, not the purpose.
When your therapist draws attention to themselves and needs you as their audience, it is narcissism.
Your therapy time belongs to you and not to the therapist.
Here’s a secret about the psychological life of a psychotherapist: your therapist gets a lot of psychological needs met through their clients. Your therapist typically experiences intimacy, attachment, and connection. They (usually) feel valued and appreciated. They (usually) experience a sense of purpose.
The Weaponization of Psychological Labels in Relationships
Posted July 15, 2025
Key points
These days, everybody knows plenty of psychological labels for problem behavior—for better or for worse.
Using these labels as a weapon in relationships can be damaging and obstructive.
In healthy relationships, people say how they feel and what they think about the partner's specific behavior.
The Comfort of "I Know You Love Me" at a Relationship's End
Posted February 22, 2025
Key points
The loss of "the look of love" can wound us more than all the other losses when we break up.
If you still feel loved and valued by your ex, celebrate what you still have.
Try not to search forever for a positive mirror from someone who may never be able to offer it again.
Boost Your Intimacy
Posted November 13, 2024
Key points
There is nothing more intimate than knowing how well your partner knows you and how they put that into action.
You know what to do to make your partner feel loved—if you can just put some effort into showing it.
Discovering the roadblocks that prevent the expression of loving behaviors can be eye-opening for both of you.
Change Your Self, Change Your Teen
Posted September 21, 2024
Key points
The stories parents tell themselves about their teen have power.
Teens may say that what their parents think means nothing to them, but they're usually lying.
The grounded parent doesn't need their teen to validate their self-worth—and the teen will be better off.
13 Ways to Be the Best Man You Can Be
Posted August 19, 2024
Key points
"Toxic masculinity" was intended to describe rigid and outdated norms of masculinity, not all masculinity.
Men can still strive to be masculine without being "toxic"; the guidelines below can help.
Even when you have messed up, try to keep seeing yourself as a “good man behaving badly."